


CTRL+C/CTRL+V

by Egosdelirium



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Bad Decisions, Crack, Don't you ever almost marry your boyfriend's brother?, False Identity, Fluff and Crack, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Marriage Proposal, Missions Gone Wrong, Mistaken Identity, Miya Atsumu Being an Idiot, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Party, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, So Wrong It's Right, Suna Rintarou is a poor disgraced soul, Twins problems I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egosdelirium/pseuds/Egosdelirium
Summary: Suna (almost) proposes to the wrong twin.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kita Shinsuke/Ojiro Aran, Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Komori Motoya & Suna Rintarou, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 31
Kudos: 609





	CTRL+C/CTRL+V

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kenma_isRelatable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenma_isRelatable/gifts).



April 10, Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. 6:54 pm

  
"You really think I'm gonna cheer for my bitch-ass brother when my whole God of a boyfriend is playing for the other team? Fuck no". Osamu scoffed as he gave the finishing touches to the Onigiri Miya stand, that was full of any kind of EJP Raijin merch that could be found on the market. From T-shirts with Suna's name, to banners with their motto. 

Osamu looked at the stand's position and was pretty satisfied, from where he was he could watch the match well, and also sell a decent amount of food. 

His father's voice was still echoing from the phone, saying something about being kinder to Atsumu because he was chasing his dream and bla bla bla. "Dad, honestly I don't care. I'll always cheer for Rin, even if he's playing against the fuckin' emperor of Japan". His father didn't respond, but chuckled lightly. 

As people started filling up the gym, business began and Osamu lost track of time, too busy cashin' in on. The first thing he did when he finally managed to catch a breath was check the score. EJP was leading 15-13 and Osamu's chest swelled with pride. He did cheer subconsciously when Atsumu managed to recieve a particularly nasty ball, but no one had to know. 

Kita and Aran joined him as soon as the second set started. In the end, Suna's team had owned the Black Jackals during the first. "'Samu we couldn't find you man, there's way too many people in here".   
Osamu glanced up at his friends and nodded in agreement. "True that, I've never seen it this full before. Besides maybe for the match against the Adlers".

They chatted but soon quieted down as the pace of the match started to pick up again.

That libero in Suna's team, Komori, was pretty damn good, he could recieve Sakusa's curved spikes effortlessly. Osamu wondered how the fuck he did that. If he had to choose someone he wouldn't want to ever face in the Jackals, that was probably Kiyoomi. Hinata was good but still too inexperienced, too naively excited, like a little crow that had just learnt how to fly. Bokuto, on the other hand, changed his mood like Osamu changed his underwear and his stupid brother was well...his stupid brother. 

But Kiyoomi was scary, and Osamu was glad, for once, to be outside the court. Suna's team was mean too, and it probably looked scarier to him because he didn't know the players at all. Rintarou hadn't ever introduced them yet, so Osamu just knew some random names and faces. 

The second set was won over by the BJ, after Koutaro brought the set point home. Osamu pouted from the bleachers.

Kita and Aran had gone back to their seats as the second set approached its ending, knowing that the short period of time between the sets was gonna keep Osamu busy with some clients who stress-ate. Those were the best people to sell to. And right at the start of the third, someone familiar asked for a plain onigiri. 

"Keiji-san, it's been a while. How have you been?".   
The black haired male smiled warmly, taking the food he was given and handing Osamu the money. "Good, I'm here to watch my boyfriend win". He smirked sneakily, fully conscious that that was a challenge.  
"Yeah no I don't think so. They may have won against the Adlers but the magic is not gonna work this time".

"We'll see, Osamu-san".   
"Oh yeah we will". 

Approximately an hour ago, 5:58 pm

"Okay guys? So it's fundamental that we win today. If we don't I won't have the courage to ask him".

The captain hit Suna's shoulders reassuringly. "We're gonna kick their asses, right boys?".

An echo of cheers erupted and Suna managed to calm his nerves a little bit.

_He could do this. They could do this._

Komori walked up to him as the team headed to the main court. "It's gonna be great Rintarou, you don't have to worry. Just focus on the game now". Surprisingly, it did help. 

Present time, 8:12 pm

The fifth set was hell. Osamu and Akaashi were now sitting together, close to the stand, and the amicable dissing between the two had stopped a while ago. None of them dared to speak anymore, too focused on the damn ball. 

As they grew silent, the gym grew louder.

Screams and cheers could definitely be heard from outside the stadium too, and the passersby may be wondering just what the hell was going on inside. Osamu knew they were tired, he felt it in his legs too, the memories still relatively fresh in his mind and body. The strain of every single muscle, sweat dripping down furrowed foreheads and the eyes fixated on the ball, just on the ball and nothing else in the world. Those things couldn't be forgotten fast, he knew Keiji beside him felt them too. 

The deuces had been going on for too much time and Osamu was growing nervous, but then it finally came, that damn point.   
He didn't see how it happened, everything was too fast, the exchange had been going on for longer than anyone would have expected. The libero had probably hit it at a weird angle, and the ball went flying off the court.

"FUCK YES".

Osamu stood up and joined the choir of yells, then smiled down at Akaashi. "What was that about your boyfriend Keiji-san? Because my man _obliterated_ his ass". Keiji sighed but smiled.

"Congratulations Osamu-san, now excuse me but I have to console Koutaro. Pray for me please".

Osamu gave him two more onigiri's to bring Bokuto to cheer him up a bit. 

He saw Atsumu huff next to Chibi-chan and smiled, imagining all the ways he could shit on his brother later. 

Awesome.

Shibuya, Tokyo. Later that night, 8:59 pm

The V.I.P room at the club looked luxurious enough to be too expensive for Osamu, but he wasn't paying so he couldn't care less.  
Basically every volleyball player he had ever met was present that night, so the room must've contained around, what? A hundred people? Who the fuck had organized all of this? (He later discovered it had been Atsumu's, Shoyo's and Bokuto's work, and it all made more sense then). 

It was too crowded nonetheless. Osamu found Kiyoomi, standing in a corner looking clearly disgusted by the mass of swaying people. He joined him and managed, with great effort, to convince the dark haired boy to go look for the others.

  
EJP Raijin's changing room. 40 minutes earlier, 8:15 pm

The cheers were resounding everywhere, happy, sweaty men dancing wildly around the room. Amongst them, Suna was the happiest. And the most scared. Komori hopped on his back, how the hell he still had any strength left to jump, Suna didn't know. 

"So we won uh?"   
"Yeah, we did"   
"Show me the ring". The libero's eyes were shining excitedly. Their ace overheard and suddenly that bunch of very sweaty men was all huddled up on Rintarou, waiting expectantly. 

"Okay, okay, fine. Geez you guys". Rintarou took the small velvety box from his bag and opened it for his teammates' to see.

"That's pretty fucking pretty." Their captain said very articulately. "Did you sell a lung for that Rin-chan?". "Yeah, almost". 

"Well, he's gonna love it". Everyone else agreed in unison and it helped calm down the ravenette a bit.

10 minutes before the party, at the entrance of the club, 8:50 pm

"Fuck, bro look at my hair. It's all floppy! I hate sweating and the damn showers of the locker room", Atsumu whined to Bokuto. The other scanned his head and laughed. "But you're a pro volleyball player, how can you hate sweating?". 

  
"Those are minor details. Got anything I can wear to cover this shit?". Bokuto looked around in his bag and took out a black beanie with a white sushi symbol on it. It looked cute and familiar. "Here, take this one".   
Atsumu put it on and stared at his image in the reflection of his phone. "It's identical to one that 'Samu owns". 

  
"Oh, it's probably his then. He must' ve forgotten it at our house last week when he hung out with Akaashi. Thinking about it, Keiji did tell me something about returning it to someone, that's why I had it on me, but I definitely forgot". 

  
Atsumu snickered and teased Bokuto for being an airhead, but as soon as he saw Kiyoomi he trailed after him like a loyal dog. 

"The hat looks horrible". Sakusa eyed Atsumu's head skeptically.   
"My hair looks worse"  
"If feels like I'm talking to your brother"  
"Well I'm sorry but he is my identical twin after all".   
Kiyoomi smiled. "You got it wrong, I'm not complaining. It's a positive thing. I like him better than you".  
"OMI-KUN C'MON. Hey come back, gimme love!".

Suna's insides were chewing him alive and the ring felt way too heavy in his pocket. Fuck. He couldn't start rethinking everything now. 

He wasn't someone who loved crowds, he didn't mind them, sure, but he didn't thrive in them either. He wanted to do this now though, in this place surrounded by the people he and 'Samu loved and grew up with. 

  
He downed a shot of straight tequila to calm down his revolting stomach. 

Terrible decision, really, considering that he hadn't eaten anything for the whole day.

30 minutes before midnight

The party was, in all truth, pretty fuckin' lit.   
Osamu had to take a bathroom break though, to escape Kourai's story about that time he almost killed his neighbor with a toaster. The narrative technique was captivating for sure, but Osamu's head was starting to pound because of all the music and the loud yelling that was going on in the room. 

He washed his face with cold water and mustered the courage to go back to the main room, embracing the fact that he was probably going to go deaf before turning twenty-four. What he didn't know was that no amount of mental preparation could've really made him ready for what he was about to witness.

He spotted Kiyoomi first, who was busy starting intently at something. Seeing the taller male so enthusiastic about something immediately caught Osamu's attention and he went over to him. "What's caught your eye Kiyoomi-san?". Sakusa pointed immediately in front of them, at two figures sat on one of the many sofas. Osamu's eyebrows shot up. 

"Why is my boyfriend making out with my brother?"  
"He thinks it's you". Osamu went quite for a while before choking out a laugh. 

"This is gold". 

Sakusa seemed to agree, if anything his smile only grew bigger as Osamu whipped out his phone to start recording. 

Atsumu, on the opposite side of the room, looked tense as fuck. The two boys weren't actually making out, but SunaRin was way too close for his liking, hands all over Atsumu's hips, as he whispered things in his ear. 

"'Samu".

Atsumu wanted, he really wanted, to scream 'NOPE NOT 'SAMU', but the alcohol was heavy on his tongue and his brain was fogged. To be absolutely earnest, he didn't know what to fuckin' say. 

"You look so hot tonight". 

_No._

"I can't wait to take you home" 

_Slow down there cowboy!_

"Do you remember that time at your grandparent's? You were wearing pants just like these". 

Atsumu didn't know why, he really didn't know why he spoke the next words but he was starting to think that his brain was rotten. He blamed it all on the Vodka.

"What time?". 

_Why did ya ask, ya scrub, do ya really want to know that?!_

"That time in the shower, with your grandpa in the room next to us". 

Atsumu screeched. "What the fuck did ya do with grandpa in the other room??". Suna seemed far too gone, as he just laughed drunkingly and ignored the question. He was breathing too close to the blond's ear and it sent shivers down Atsumu's spine. 

"'Samu". 

Jesus Christ. Atsumu scanned around the room to see if anyone was able to come and rescue him, but everyone was minding their business, dancing or drinking, or both. 

"I love you so much".

Atsumu gulped. 

"You have no idea how much, this much". Suna spread his arms, apparently trying to show how much he loved his brother.

Fuck, Osamu was going to skin him alive. 

When Atsumu focused back on the black haired boy, SunaRin was staring at him with that soft gaze he had for Osamu and the blond felt seasick. And then Suna leaned in and their lips were touching and he heard some sort of screech that he knew all too well next to him. Sho-chan. 

Atsumu felt like he was being watched, he heard noise and murmurs behind him and the sickness rose violently in his stomach.  
  
Osamu   
Was  
Going  
To  
Murder  
Him.

And probably burn his corpse and feed the ashes to the dogs.

He finally found his voice and whispered against Suna's lips, something like "Oi, Suna, what the fuck".   
It sounded muffled though, barely hearable over the loud music. 

And then Rintarou stood up, taking Atsumu with him. 

"'Samu". 

Atsumu saw in horror that a small crowd had started to gather around them, between the group of people Shoyo and Bokuto looked pretty stunned. He saw Komori, Sakusa's cousin, with his jaw basically on the ground. 

_SunaRin, whatever the hell you're doing, stop that now_

But Suna had no intention of stopping and Atsumu's knees felt wobbly. Gosh, he knew taking shots with Tobio-chan was a bad idea. 

Atsumu saw Osamu, he saw his twin, who was basically rolling on the floor from laughing too much, gripping Kiyoomi's shoulder for support. Sakusa was also laughing, harder than Atsumu had ever seen him. 

But then something bad was about to happen, and the blond's blood froze in his veins. He saw Suna pull a tiny red box out of his pocket. No one else seemed to have noticed, thankfully. Things could still be fixed. 

_Don't you dare get down on that knee Suna Rintarou_

"'Samu...". But then the music stopped, the lights went on and, apparently, Jesus loved Atsumu enough to send an angel his way. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

In all his gorgeous, buff glory he walked up to them. "Gentlemen, I believe there was a huge misunderstanding here". 

Every single person in the room was either confused or super pumped to see what was going to happen next. Atsumu felt the alcohol rise back in his throat. 

Wakatoshi-kun announced very seriously: "Suna Rintarou, you got the wrong twin", and as he did so he removed the hat from Atsumu's head, letting his blond bangs fall over the boy's forehead. 

Suna's expression of horror was indescribable. He looked like he was about to die on spot, suddenly more sober than he had ever been, before screaming at the top of his lungs: "I WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE TO _THIS ASSHOLE_?". 

Pandemonium erupted. 

Osamu's phone actually slipped from his hands and Sakusa's eyes widened a little bit. That meant he was shocked. 

Shoyo squeaked again. Bokuto passed out (but Akaashi quickly caught him before he hit the ground). 

"Propose?"   
"PROPOSE?"   
"WHO'S GETTIN' HITCHED?"   
"Someone GET THE CHAMPAGNE" 

Suna turned around to look at Osamu, who was still gaping. Mortified wasn't enough to describe the way Rintarou felt inside, but the alcohol actually did something positive for the first time that night. He stepped forward, pushed by Ushijima, and knelt down in front of the _right_ Miya. 

April 11, 00:00 am

"'Samu, forget the fact that I thought you were _him_ and marry me. I love you more than anything else in the world". Osamu smiled.   
"I'll never let you live that down, Rin, but I'll marry the fuck out of ya". 

Someone did pop the champagne as Osamu jumped on his now fiancée, and kissed him passionately. 

Atsumu was whining to Sakusa, something about being mean for not doing something sooner, but everyone was too overjoyed to dwell too much on the incident. The party became even litter and Kourai started dancing on tables. 

It was definitely going to be one hell of a story to tell. 

  
Ten years later

"And that, my adorable nephews, is the story of how your dad almost proposed to me instead of papa". 

"Atsumu I'll kick yer fuckin' ass, come here, ya piece of shit!". 

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this brain rot! I had so much fun writing this one and I hope you enjoy it too. Let me know what you think, and, as always, thank you for reading❤️


End file.
